15th Apr 2012

Anonymous said: So in a group of friends I have, my pet-name is BLT (Big Luscious Tits). It was funny at first, but then it got annoying when that's literally all they called me. Now it's infuriating because they'll call me that in public and actually explain WHY they call me that to whoever asks. The name is known among non-friends now and it's starting to hurt my feelings. I called my friends out on it, but they said I was overreacting. Some idiot actually poked my boob and ran off saying "BLT". Advice? :(

Having an inside joke among close friends is all well and good but now it’s just plain sexual harassment. No one has any right to touch you against your will.

It’s not overreacting for you to want people to refer to you as your name, not as a body part. You have every right to be respected as a person and your “friends” should understand and respect that, not dismiss and invalidate you by saying you’re “overreacting.”

You need to make it clear to them that people are treating you inappropriately now because of this pet-name and you’re constantly being treated as a walking pair of boobs because of them and their blatant disrespect. If these people are really your friends, they should respect your wishes enough to stop calling you that and encourage others to call you by your real name. 

Objectification isn’t funny, it isn’t cute; it’s disrespectful and can be down-right dangerous.

Does anyone have any other advice for this Anon?

anon definitely needs better friends. also, i’ll kick them in the boobs on her behalf. how dare them!

my advice to anon is to get new friends. ones who respect her.
If that person has someone in their group of friends who would be considered the closest friend of the group, maybe pull them aside and talk to them about it privately, tell them how it makes them feel to be called that. Most times that I’ve handled similar situations this way, that friend will begin to stick up for me and the teasing eventually stops.
OR if that doesn’t work, don’t throw a tantrum, but if at all possible, the next time it happens, just tear up a little bit, get really quiet, and walk away or something. It makes them feel bad, and with tears, people are more likely to take someone seriously.
Not always the case. It’s incredibly common for people to dismiss others for being “overly emotional”. If these people were true friends they might care but that doesn’t seem to be the case at all.
A friend of mine used to call me “HH” (my cup size at the time), at first privately and then in public. When I started to get just really uncomfortable with it, I sat her down and explained to her exactly what effect it was having on me and why it was upsetting me so much, since it was reducing me to a part of myself that I didn’t choose and that always made me really self-conscious. I kept telling her until she took me seriously. Not quite the same situation, but I hope it’s helpful.
For Anon: I shared this same curse in high school. I find it a little scary that we both have the same nickname, but rest assured, it won’t last long if you tell your friends off properly and let them know exactly what’s happening to you. If they’re really you’re friends, they’ll understand the predicament they’ve put you in and cease this childish nonsense. If not, kick their asses to the curb and make it clear that you have a name and it is NOT BLT. They got a problem? Report them.
I had the exact same problem, my friend Josh ONLY called me Titanium Tits for a few years. It was amusing at first when just at parties and he only started because he wanted to come out of my shell (not clothing shell lol, I was always the quiet one in large social situations). But then it started happening in public. My solution was, especially because he thought of me as sweet and quiet, to grab his arm roughly, get those crazy-mom eyes and saying SHUT THE F*** UP I’M EMILY. WE ARE IN PUBLIC!
Anon is absolutely *not* overreacting! It’s downright snide and mean of her friends to say so and to act that way. If they can’t or aren’t willing to understand that, start pointing out something about their physique they’re uncomfortable about and see how they react. God knows big breasts aren’t something to be ashamed of, but enough ppl will try to make it feel so (hello slutshaming!) w/o your *friends* adding to it. If they don’t stop off with them, they’re not worthy of you *fistbump*
(cont’d) I had 2 “friends” who liked to loudly and repeatedly exclaim about how big my boobs were amidst perfect strangers, no matter how uncomfortable it made me. Somehow, it wasn’t quite as hilarious to have me point out how huuuuge their asses were in return. I’m not friends with those people anymore for other, bigger reasons but it goes to show: assholes who will ridicule their “friends” in public and have a laugh at their expense aren’t worthy of your friendship anyway!
For that anon with the nickname: People (friends and not) think it’s ok to make jokes and comment about my boobs all the time too. Best to point out how inappropriate it would be to say to someone “wow, you’re really fat” so saying “wow, you’re boobs are really big” or anything like that is just as inappropriate. Just be direct and tell them it’s not ok. Just because you talk about your boobs doesn’t mean others can. Or passive aggressively comment on their body parts and see if they like it :)
For the girl who people are calling “BLT” : Talk to your friends. No tears, no drama. What you’re saying is completely reasonable — act like it. “I know that the BLT nickname started as a joke, but if I don’t like it, that should be reason enough for you to stop it. I’m sure you can see why I’d get sick of a name like that, and I’m also sure you wouldn’t want to actually offend me or anything, so, you guys are going to stop now, right? Thanks so much.” They can’t exactly say no to that.
Good luck, Anon. 
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  1. princemink reblogged this from bustygirlcomics and added:
    So in a group of friends I have, my pet-name is BLT (Big Luscious Tits). It was funny at first, but then it got annoying...